The Surrogacy Journey Uncovered with the Surrogacy Father
Many intended parents begin their surrogacy journey expecting to focus on fertility treatment, choosing a surrogate and preparing for the arrival of a child. However, as many families discover, the journey also involves important emotional considerations and practical surrogacy legal advice that can benefit from careful planning from the very beginning.
In this episode of Whitehead Monckton’s HeadNotes podcast, Senior Family Solicitor Judith Harling-Coward is joined by Shaun Thomas, Founder of The Surrogacy Father, to discuss the realities of building a family through surrogacy.
Drawing on both his professional guidance and personal experience as a father of three children born through surrogacy, Shaun shares valuable advice for intended parents considering both UK and international surrogacy.
Together, they explore the importance of seeking surrogacy legal advice early, choosing the right support team, understanding different destinations, and preparing for the emotional highs and challenges that can arise throughout the process.
For many individuals and couples, surrogacy provides an opportunity to build the family they have always hoped for.
Shaun explains that he and his husband explored several routes to parenthood before deciding that surrogacy was the right choice for them. While every family’s circumstances are different, they wanted the experience of welcoming a newborn and having a biological connection with their children.
The podcast also recognises that there is no single route to parenthood. Every family’s circumstances, priorities and aspirations are unique, making it important to choose the path that feels right for you.
It’s about choosing what’s right for you and your family, not about what is the quickest or the cheapest option. – Shaun Thomas
Although becoming a parent is an exciting experience, the speakers acknowledge that surrogacy can also be emotionally demanding.
Waiting for embryos to develop, treatment to progress and pregnancies to establish often involves long periods of uncertainty. Even the most organised individuals may find the lack of control challenging.
Shaun encourages intended parents to build a strong support network from the outset by maintaining open communication with their partner, leaning on trusted friends and considering professional counselling where appropriate.
He particularly recommends speaking with therapists who have experience supporting individuals undergoing fertility treatment.
Don’t underestimate how heavy surrogacy can feel. Surrogacy is joyful, but it can be mentally demanding. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. – Shaun Thomas
One of the most detailed discussions within the podcast focuses on selecting where to undertake your surrogacy journey.
For families considering international surrogacy, the decision should never be based purely on cost or speed. Instead, intended parents should carefully consider a range of factors, including:
Shaun advises intended parents to fully understand one destination before comparing agencies operating there, helping to reduce confusion and make informed decisions.
The speakers also discuss how international landscapes continue to evolve, making it essential to obtain current legal guidance before making any commitments.
Throughout the discussion, both speakers stress the importance of obtaining independent legal advice as early as possible.
Families considering international arrangements should obtain advice from professionals both in the UK and in their chosen destination. Different countries have different legal systems, and understanding how those systems interact is essential when planning for your child’s arrival and return home.
The legal aspects may include:
Shaun explains that delaying legal advice is one of the biggest mistakes he sees intended parents make, often creating avoidable stress later in the journey.
The podcast also highlights several practical warning signs when selecting agencies and service providers.
Potential concerns may include:
Rather than rushing into decisions, intended parents are encouraged to carry out thorough research and work only with trusted, experienced professionals.
Shaun also shares how he and his husband have introduced their children to their own birth stories from an early age.
Using age-appropriate language, photographs and books, they have helped their children understand their family story in a positive and natural way.
The discussion highlights the importance of openness and honesty, allowing children to grow up understanding how they came into the world and feeling proud of their family’s journey.
Whether you are exploring UK or international surrogacy, obtaining specialist legal advice early from our family law solicitors can help you understand your options and avoid unnecessary complications later.
Our experienced family law team advises intended parents throughout every stage of the surrogacy process, providing clear, practical guidance tailored to your individual circumstances.
We can assist with:
If you are considering surrogacy and would like tailored legal advice, please contact our family law team.
If you are pursuing international surrogacy, it is always advisable to obtain independent legal advice in both jurisdictions so you understand how each legal system affects your arrangements and your return home.
As discussed in the podcast, intended parents should generally prepare for a journey that may take 18 months to two years, although every family's circumstances are different.
According to Sean Thomas, one of the biggest risks is delaying or avoiding legal advice, which can lead to unnecessary complications.
Judith Harling-Coward
Senior family lawyer at Whitehead Monckton, advising on family law matters including surrogacy.
Shaun Thomas
Founder of The Surrogacy Father, independent surrogacy consultant and father of three children born through surrogacy. Sean supports intended parents by providing practical, emotional and independent guidance throughout their surrogacy journeys.
Explore more episodes from the HeadNotes Legal Podcast, or browse our Surrogacy, Adoption and Guardianship services for expert guidance on surrogacy, donor conception and modern family-building.
