Can I be stopped from seeing my grandchild?

There is huge financial pressure on parents of children and, in the UK, we pay more for our childcare as a proportion of income than anywhere else in the world. So extended family are a more important part of raising our children than ever. Grandparents and grandchildren can have exceptionally strong bonds and a very different, enriching relationship with each other. 

In circumstances where parents are separating, one question arises time and again: what do grandparents do when they want to enjoy the same quality of time with their grandchildren but experience resistance from one or both parents? 

It is tempting for many people to reach first for the obvious answer – that this is something which can be resolved efficiently by a court. However, the way these matters are handled within the legal system has changed, and, particularly in the last five years, several disadvantages have become apparent: 

1. Simple contact matters are commonly dealt with by magistrates who have no specific legal training. Allied with this, it can be difficult to request a transfer of a case to a judge. Often, cases before magistrates are not handled efficiently. 
2. At the moment, in some areas of the country, hearings can be removed from the diary up until the day of the hearing. This can cause a lot of stress and wasted costs. This usually happens because there aren’t enough judges or magistrates to hear all the matters referred to the courts. 
3. Cases are taking longer and longer to get to hearings, and it is harder to process paperwork for cases or track progress, as the Ministry of Justice seeks to save costs in a variety of ways. 

Added to this, whatever the circumstances, going to court to try to discuss contact matters commonly results in all parties feeling that their relationship is worse after proceedings than before it. This is largely because the court system by nature pits one party against the other. Parents and grandparents are left free, or even encouraged, to raise allegations and air their grievances. It can be difficult to heal once the court building is firmly in the rear-view mirror.  

Family mediation: an alternative to court

Whatever your family dynamic, the problems which have led to preventing grandparent contact will be unique. As a result, it is worth thinking first about whether anyone trusted by parents and grandparents alike could help ‘mediate’ a solution, either professionally or more informally. Hopefully, attitudes will not have hardened to make this impossible or too tense an experience to contemplate. If there is only one resistant parent, contact can be managed with the grandparents having contact together with the non-resistant parent, although this isn’t ideal.   

What happens if court is the only option?

If there is no alternative, normally when both parents resist contact, grandparents can issue proceedings at court. It is worth remembering before embarking on this that grandparents do not have a right to see a grandchild. Therefore, unless court pressure or negotiation can shift attitudes, a court can’t force a parent to make a child available to spend time with a grandparent. 

For an application for contact to succeed to a full hearing, grandparents need to apply to a judge for permission to issue an application. At a preliminary hearing, in order to accede to such a request, the court will have to consider: 

• The grandparents’ relationship with the grandchild 

• The nature of the application 

• Whether contact with the grandparents would be harmful in any way to the child 

• Whether continuing the contact with the grandparents would impact negatively on the rest of the family 

The important issues are not solely legal, so it takes extensive practical as well as legal experience to advise comprehensively in these circumstances.  

Grandparents may ask themselves (as parents do before issuing contact cases in court) ‘Do I risk making my relationship worse with my family in applying to court?’, and ‘Are the dynamics of our family such that more informal ways of discussing things are more likely to work?’  

Court proceedings can lead to lasting compromise if the parties are willing and evidence is obtained and presented with the best interests of the child or children involved. The best way to do this is to employ the considerable skill of an expert, to avoid the bear traps along the way 

Whitehead Monkton’s family lawyers are here to help. We understand the emotional impact of family disputes, and will work with you to help you lessen the friction and reduce the impact on grandparents, parents and, of course, children. Our trained mediators can help to resolve matters without the need to go to court, or, where court proceedings have become necessary, our experienced family lawyers will guide, advise and support you through the court process.